As I mentioned in my previous post my son has just broken up with his girlfriend of 2 years. They got along very well, she fit in with the family nicely. There were a few things, as no one is perfect, but we just thought it would come with maturity. Now it is over and how do I help him cope and move on when she keeps texting him like nothing has happened, like they are best friends and his heart hasn’t just been ripped out of his chest?
I feel like the worst mom at this point. I wish I could do more for him than just listen, give him hugs and reassurance. I wish I could just snap my fingers and make it go away, but I know that this is a part of life and it will only make him stronger. Is this enough, or could I be doing more?
If you have any advice or stories you would like to share, please do share as I could use all the advice I can get. I met my husband at 17, married him at 21 and have been with him for almost 26 years. I have never had to deal with that kind of heartbreak. I need help to help him . . .
free2bme123 
Jul 03, 2012 @ 22:22:30
As a rule of thumb (for me at least and i tell this to all the people who go through this ordeal) ex’es can never be friends. EVER. Its just not possible without confusing one or the other if not both. Its tough because the couple shared something together and they wish to hold on to something “nice” but the truth of the matter is that the only way they can get peace of mind is to cut off all connections.
If I read it right, your son sees this girl at work right? workmates?
well that is a tough one. All he can do is ignore the girl. Ignore the text, just plain ignore. I know it sounds mean and evil and heartless, but that is the only way to go.
I broke up with my Boyfriend of 3 years because I was not happy with him and he was no longer fulfilling me or bringing out the best in me and had no plans or views of the future and was holding me back from mine, (and not to mention terrible in bed). At one point he wanted to be “friends” but it was impossible. Even if we had been friends since I was 13 years old, dated him from 18-21 years old and lived with him for 1 year and a half, I broke up with him and remained detached from almost everything connected to him. If a common/mutual friend shows up or whatever I make it a point to not have anything to do/talk about that pertains him.
It really helped speed up the process and make everything complete. Then after while I’m comfortable talking about it, but until now, I still don’t wish to come in contact with him to avoid the whole, sex with the ex thing, which usually DO happen believe it or not.
If your son and the girl really broke up and not just “cooling-off” then he needs to put everything of her in a box and throw it away or put it in the attic where he won’t easily have it at his reach. I threw and gave away all my ex-things. Changed all my online status to single, archived all emails, deleted all texts, and the likes. Makes breakups cleaner and easier to deal and cope with.
I know this is really long. I’m sorry about this. And if i was too blunt I apologize as well. but this is the only way he will be able to cope with it. I know I’m only 23 years old but being with someone as the one who I were with was a real eye-opener.
I’m really sorry to hear that your son is torn up in two. I hope and wish him all the best. I’m sure your son is a great guy. He deserves better than a girl who plays around with his head.
xoxo
Lara Krystle “Lane” Novales
Jul 04, 2012 @ 07:16:58
Sorry you had to go through what you went through. It doesn’t seem fare.
Thank you so much, you have just confirmed what my son and husband have been trying to tell me. It was a tough night last night, he saw her at work for the first time and she acted like nothing happened, even called him by his pet name when saying hi, that really upset my son. He finally told her it was too hard right now to be friends and that maybe some day and she went all wow where did that come from . . . he started to throw things out and I encouraged him to think about it, but now I will just let him do what he thinks is best. Sounds like he may be doing what he is suppose to be doing in order to heal.Thanks again, I can’t tell you how much you have opened my eyes and hopefully I can be a better support system to him. 🙂 You may be only 23, but you are wise beyond your years 😉
Jul 04, 2012 @ 05:30:53
oh BTW. I nominated you for an award in my blog
xoxo
Lara
Feb 03, 2013 @ 15:49:04
I ache for my children every time they suffer any setback. Their healing seems to take so long.
Feb 19, 2013 @ 14:03:36
I hear you! I guess all we can do is love, support and be there for them. Thank you for stopping by