“THE VOICE” . . . make a change, you owe it to yourself!

I was going through my posts and noticed this one in drafts that for some reason I never posted. As I am reading it, I am instantly taken back to that time and feel that I can turn things around again. I will be posting an update for the past few months soon, a lot has happened and having read this again I feel some what inspired . . . I think I will be reading this book again 🙂

I was chatting with  a friend who read  “Women Food and God,” a must read for all of you who have a weight problem or think you do. Having read this book, as well, we had the most interesting of conversations about what we learned and how the book affected us. As we talked I was again reminded of  my previous blog and had an instant smile on my face as I heard myself telling experiences in the past tense. It was a nice feeling to have moved on in a positive way.

I realized so many things that had absolutely nothing to do with my weight. It was a real eye opener . . . as I already knew, and the book just reinforced the fact that, you can change the outside all you want, but 9/10 times, it isn’t what is on the outside that needs fixing. I figured out that as much as I thought I love being around my family (and I still do)I realized that I was using them to make me happy, when I should be looking to myself for the happiness. I am responsible for my own happiness, no one else. I can say “no” and the world won’t fall apart. I can do things on my own and I/they will all be fine.This was a big realization and turning point in my life. I feel so free now, like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, it is OK to say no . . .

I also learned that I had an over active “voice” that ironically talked more than I did (if you can believe that!!!). Everyone has “The Voice.”It acts as a “moral compass.” The voice steps in when we want to challenge the “norm.” When used positively it can be very useful, but when it starts running your life and prevents you from seeing things objectively and with honest truth, then it begins draining your strength, passion and energy and turns it against you. You begin believing these distorted ½ truths and it leaves you feeling defeated and weak and you desperately need a quick fix!!! Mine being FOOD!!!

“The biggest obstacle for me back then was the voice that continuously told me it was impossible. I remember it saying: You’ve always been like this, you’ll always be like this, what’s the point . . . I wouldn’t look directly into the mirror, because I didn’t want to fully see what I had become. 😦 If you are constantly telling yourself that you are fat and should be ashamed of yourself, you will begin believing it (self-fulfilling prophecy) and then the cycle begins. And that is exactly what happened to me. I continued to be ashamed and anxious. I learned to  disengage from “The Voice”and  ask myself what I was so  unhappy with, and if there was anything I could do to change it? This was called giving “The Voice” a name.”

This part of the book was eye-opening for me. It was as if the author was writing the book based on my life.  I remember convincing myself  if there was food in the house that I  would want it and eat it before I even thought about it. (how is that even possible?) I had no confidence in myself. I would sabotage myself in my mind before it even happened, setting myself up for failure. It didn’t just affect my eating, it affected my life all around from getting into the car ( I would tell myself that I was going to be anxious and that I didn’t want to go), setting myself up before I even got into the car, or telling myself that I couldn’t go anywhere alone or I would be pent-up with fear and anxiety, or my family would miss me and I wouldn’t enjoy it, so why bother . . . I had been bound by “The Voice” in a very negative way. It was keeping me from exploring the world in a more positive freer way.  Once I realized what I was doing to myself I made the decision to change and refused to let it continue any longer. I gave myself a “New Voice” and I couldn’t be happier.

I am fortunate to have found this book and received what I did from it. I have more positive thoughts now and when those pesky ones try to worm their way back into my life, I simply say “bugger off, or go away!” and think about something else. This has been a big help especially at night when trying to get to sleep. I no longer review every negative thing that happened throughout the day in my head. Now I have the know how to let it go and I am thankful to this book for that.

If your “Voice” is bringing you down, like mine was, then I highly recommend that you give yourself a new “voice,”  a more positive one ~ today. You owe it to yourself! I am glad I did! 🙂

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